Once we understand that people have different ways of expressing their love and that other love languages may be less pronounced, this can massively improve our love life. Through this knowledge we become gain a better comprehension of the different languages of love. This also helps us better understand better why our partner’s different expressions may differ from our own.
First of all, it is important to know the five languages of love:
- Physical touch
This love language is conveyed physically and non-verbally. The affection is visible in touch and in body language. If the partner uses this love language most often, a lot of emphasis is placed on hugs, touches, kisses and intimacy. It is important not to neglect the physical component of the relationship and not to fend off touch, as this can hurt the partner very much.
- Words of appreciation & compliments „You look especially wonderful today!“
This is expressed verbally in the form of compliments, supportive words and empathic conversation. As a partner, it is important that loving words, compliments and unexpected verbal support are often communicated and not neglected in everyday life, with even the smallest gestures such as text messages, emails or post-its. Non-constructive criticism, a lack of appreciation or potential devaluation of such people can be met with particularly strong dislike or hurt.
- Uninterrupted time together „You have my undivided attention.“
These people communicate their love in the form of undisturbed one on one time, focused conversations and time spent together. Partners should try to plan time together on a regular basis, suggest a weekend away from home or even joint activities such as walks. Distracted or interrupted conversations or constantly looking at the cell phone can be received with bitterness by the partner.
- Gift giving «Just because…»
This language of love is expressed in generosity; with gifts and small gestures to show the partner their importance. Giving creative small gifts is seen as a very important gesture and you should always respond gratefully. Forgetting a special occasion or giving meaningless gifts is strongly hurtful to these people.
- Provide help „I’ll help you!“
This love language shows itself in the form of help and deeds. These people love to help and see a romantic or other close relationship as a true partnership, as a team. They appreciate gestures like having breakfast together or doing household chores together. They like to support their loved ones in everyday life and make their tasks easier for them. As a partner, you should pay close attention to partnership tasks and not prioritize others more and also ensure that the tasks are completed.
Most people have one of these languages as their „main love language“, which they use themselves, and would also like an expression of affection in this love language. If your partner uses a different “main love language” than you do, this does not mean that he/she does not love you, his/her love is simply expressed in a different form. This knowledge helps us to improve communication and understanding for one another with our loved ones.