Successful Conversations – Part I

This series of articles is intended to make it easier for you to communicate with other people around you.

Basic Principles
Since every conversation, apart from internal dialogues, requires at least two people who communicate and often react on the basis of active or reactive feelings or emotions, they can sometimes result in a discussion or even a heated argument over seemingly nothing of importance.

If we consciously or unconsciously have certain expectations of another person, a situation or a conversation and these then are not fulfilled or also if we have already experienced setbacks or failures during the day or the week, an inner dissatisfaction can develop, move on from ourselves, flow into our conversations and leave a bitter taste, even though this is not a reflection of our feelings towards the other person.

Insecurities, dissatisfaction, feelings and emotions can play a major role. From discussing the smallest concerns or topics can turn into a conversation about fundamental values or a heated argument when one is insisting on one’s own point of view. If anything is unclear in a conversation, asking the other person more questions can help clarify and de-escalate the situation, instead of pursuing to counter, simply based on principle or for the sake of defending one’s self. This clears up misunderstandings and the motivation, intention and position of the other person and their feelings and emotions.

Often we succeed in differentiating and compartmentalizing feelings and experiences depending on the situation and not allowing them to flow into irrelevant conversations. But if what we have experienced weighs too heavily on us, has disappointed, angered or annoyed us too much, we do not always succeed in differentiating as well, especially when we’re already irritated and therefore bring these feelings into the next contact with other human beings.
As difficult as this current mood may be, these feelings are also part of our emotional palette. Accepting this can help us emerge from this state more easily and put these feelings aside for ourselves, as these have nothing to do with the current conversation or situation.