After a relationship with a narcissist, whether it was a friendship or of a romantic nature, many people are still strongly influenced by the experience, even after a long time. Here you will find some helpful tips on how you can find your self-esteem and confidence again and let go of what you have gone through. For the sake of simplicity, the masculine form is used again in this article, but narcissists can be people of any gender.
- Do not respond to his compliments and pay no attention to the narcissist
- Do not let him participate in your life anymore and do not tell him anything new about your life
- Do not even try to see things from his point of view (his thinking and behavior will remain incomprehensible to you)
- Don’t be part of his drama, actively take yourself out
- Adjust your mind to perceiving the narcissist as less superior
- Pay the most attention to yourself and remember what you like about yourself
- Don’t expect a positive change in the narcissist’s behavior
- Expand your life without having the narcissist be a part of it
- The narcissist’s criticism of you shows the issues the narcissist deals with in his own life (e.g. he criticizes your appearance, meaning that he is dissatisfied with his own appearance. He criticizes your career, meaning that he feels inadequate in the business world or lacks ambition)
- Remember that his grandiose self is just a facade and there is an incredibly insecure person behind it all.
- Lower your expectations: Narcissistic people always demand different things from their fellow human beings than they do from themselves. So don’t expect „normal“ standards, your behavior is always a likely target for him, even if he displays the same behavior. Do not take any criticism personally and break off contact or limit it (e.g. with family members, where breaking off all contact isn’t always possible or desired)
- Try to understand that this person is constantly fighting with himself and projecting everything onto the outside. A very unhappy life, so don’t let yourself be dragged down.
- Don’t let shame persuade you, even if you didn’t recognize the narcissist as such, or if your partner later turned out to be a narcissist.
- Reminder: The „victims“ of narcissists are not stupid or naive, they are often vulnerable and sensitive people whose defenselessness is perceived as the perfect characteristic for narcissistic abuse.
- Forgive yourself – you didn’t know any better, and after all, you didn’t plan on being treated badly.
Hypnotherapy can offer you important support in such processes. For appointments, please reach out at the contact information here.